This morning I aint wanna write nothing, I wanna stay sleep.

I have something happening with my sinuses, some major congestion and a cough, and its annoying.

I also am getting a not so friendly reminder that im a woman. which is so ghetto to me, my tubes are tied and im celibate, shouldnt i be exempt?

Im just not feeling it, so this weekend is one where i will pull aiway to fill my cup back up.

Something i never do anymore is pour from an empty cup. There was a time when i would over extend myself, wear myself thin trying to be there for others. Listen these kids may get some no’s this weekend. I used to be so against buying a hotdog or letting the kids eat cereal for dinner. Shiiiiiddtttt, they be lit! My youngest be like “really mommy? Fruity pebbles can be my dinner today?” I probably wont come out my room until sunday when its time to make dinner and start week prep.

I will have my phone on DND and call back who i feel like engaging with but most likely i will be engaging with some tea and a book, my journal and maybe some yoga stretches to ease any discomfort.

No scrolling on social media, its a trap anyway. Ya end up stuck like you just smoked some good green ok. Scrolling to the next reel and you look up and its been twenty minutes, No thank you.

I may watch a movie or two, no documentaries this weekend because i dont wanna think. I will watch something like Harry Potter or something Marvel, its always so much going on it like draws me in and i forget about the world around me.

I may turn on my pedicure bucket and soak my feet, take a hot bath, turn on my massager, sleep all day, whatever i want for self care its all about refreshing me.

This is probably the hardest this i had to change healing. I operated with minimal boundaries, over shared and gave more to others than i received back, i would spend so much time depleted, just wore out and empty. No one would make it their business to check in on me, make sure I had balance, they just would make sure they can get from me. Nope!

I say no now.

I take time for me now.

And the most powerful change is I ask for help, and i know who to ask for help. I stopped asking manipulators for help. I refuse to allow people to misuse me. So yes i need a moment sometimes but no im not giving you or loaning you shit to HELP me i would PAY a nanny before i pay my village to do what the village is supposed to do, im mature enough to know you dont get loyalty because of position, people have to have it in their own heart, so if/when they dont i move on to paid services or to my true villagers.

Today starts my rest, i normally wont bring work into my room but today i work from bed. Retreat starts today DND game strong. I know i will repeat this in 28 days and i will as often as needed.

Self care includes rest. Self care is retreating from the world. Self love is doing this often.

I pray this weekend we all find some time to rest retreat and repeat this as many times as you like