You ever “hold your peace”, “stay a lady”, “not come off the throne to sling mud with peasants” and find yourself mad hour, days or weeks later because you wish you handled it differently.

I like taking the high road and flying above all the haters. Yeah I like all that jive however it’s been eating at me.

Thoughts echo through my mind endlessly:

I should’ve cussed that b!+€# out!

Slapped the sugar honey iced tea out of a heaux.

Simply BEAT A FACE IN!

But I can’t. I’m a queen and we don’t swing right?

Is it worth it? Keeping the peace to be tormented by thoughts to a place of obsession? The what if’s and should’ve could’ve would’ves won’t stop. How do I deal?

Well we are moving to the next full moon and I plan to let this shit go once and for all. I think I may write a letter. Maybe even send a text or two but I gotta get this out because I’m stuck BADLY!

I’m trying to stay regal. Move like the queen I am and these people keep tap dancing on my nerves. I’m determined to break free from these feelings. I may very well end up physically breaking some shit to help aid me in healing these areas. I want to be FREE!!! More than anything. I’m tired of these folks living rent free in my head.

Pray with me as I work on me, Ms Raqi knows how to contain herself but RaRa from the Westside still wanna buck up at everything. This soft life is beautiful. I love choosing peace over chaos, I won’t go back there. But damn! That villain I used to be still in me. I won’t let them make me come out myself, I won’t.

I’m going to break it. I may share how I do.

Thank you for reading!

Love and light,

Raqi