Like why is it so hard to STAY consistent??

I know I will set a plan, start it, and divert. Whether it be distraction or life events I have to get back to it. When I say I set a plan…I write it out, put it in calendars and still can miss days week months or in some cases YEARS of being on schedule.

But I never give up.

I always turn my one days into day ones but like I said in the title I’m sick of it. And it’s only the parts of the commitment to me. Not to others. Not to my career. Not to my babies. Now just to me. Thinks like dietary guidelines and working out. Journaling/blogging and reading books. Those things get skipped over. The things that help

Me…..am I not the most important person to me?

I have to start serving me when I don’t want to. It’s like my will holds when it’s about my babies. I’ll grind my teeth and bear pain and go without rest if I need to but I won’t take the pain of the work out or get up early to do my blog or do a meditative yoga session. I crave cussing out my colleagues at times but I hold my tongue and in the spirit of collaboration move forward with keeping the main thing the main thing but I fight these nasty thoughts in my head endlessly.

I’m not even gonna waste my time and lie to myself and say this is the last time I will have to start over. But I know once again I never stopped. I’m sick of day ones but I’m always gonna come back to me. I just pray I stop believing me behind.

The first step is realizing I have this cycle right? I am solution oriented therefore it’s time to figure this one out.

For me, it’s making me sick. All the things I had a “cheat day” with took over and became my lifestyle, and now my feeling my clothes and my knees hurt 🤣. I have to set boundaries with me like I did in the other areas.

I’m a nonnegotiable for me!