I say all the time that healing is a process. Hell it’s a longtime commitment. Healing never stops, it’s always present tense because life never stops lifing and presents new things to heal from or will bring up old wounds to test you.

This won’t stop, it’s life.

So do I hide my heart forever?

NOPE!

Hiding my heart won’t help. Think about it like a broken bone. I remember when I broke my wrist. They assessed it, cleaned it, protected it secured it with a cast to be left alone to mend. Once it was mended thought they removed the cast and wanted me to use the wrist again, it was the only way to see how healed it was and if any support would be needed moving forward. They needed to see if I would need physical or occupational therapy and if I needed a brace or for it to still be wrapped for reinforcement.

Well as far as my heart goes, I think I’m ready to cut the cast off.

When my heart got broken I shot up the strongest tallest walls around my heart, couldn’t nobody get close. I had a nice hard exterior around it. It was so hard, just like my cast, it could be used as a weapon if I wanted. Boy listen I was MEAN to anyone that even attempted to holla. By the third date or conversation I was ready to run. I was so hardcore and everything they did turned me the hell off and I’d block em.

My hard shell was to protect me. I didn’t know how healed I was and wasn’t gone just throw myself out here not mended. But what I was doing not “cutting off the cast” was making me weaker not stronger.

Not admitting that I, like any other human, needs love and affection was how I hid from having to use my heart. I was afraid to see if it could “bare some weight” because what if it hurt? I can’t take no more right? Well maybe I can remove my cast off my heart and get support if needed.

What if it works? Add some therapy in there and it may be better than before right? It’s possible.

So I’m removing the cast, stretching and attempting to use my heart again. Just like my wrist, that cast left an itch I needed to scratch. The “rat tail combs” that can reach the itch of the heart can help you sustain but I’m ready to take this cast off and scratch/scratch 😏

Either way, it’s time to take the cast off. I trust me enough to handle my heart with care. I won’t carry or bare too much weight, I know I can re-injure myself. I will add support if needed, maybe not a hard cast, a soft one, just for the extra strength.

I trust my boundaries will be enforced. I trust that I will follow my heart and it won’t lead me astray. I trust that I will use my head and know if/when to exit. I trust my spirit of discernment.

I trust me!