Now yesterday I got my happy ass on here and said Fuq how those that hurt me feel I’m telling my story right. Then someone else told there story, about their own pain, and abuse and I was sitting here like ” Now why would she do that? He got a reputation. He got KIDS. It ain’t gone make nobody treat him no different. She’s making herself look bad. What about her kids? Whatever happened she deserve it being permissive. Karma!”

My ass went straight to victim blaming/shaming and like most people they don’t see the deviant in the abuser they see someone one loving, charming, and wise and believe the person they know could never be that.

I didn’t even have that excuse in this story because I witnessed this abuse, at least the manipulation part. I saw her trauma first hand, hell I was a part of it at one point. I didn’t abuse her personally, no, but I know I was a part of her pain.

MY problem was I saw her “part in it”. But isn’t that how this goes? Its all about the gas lighting and throwing the rock then hiding the hand. Hell most of the people that hurt me people don’t believe they could and hell the abusers barely admit it because I’d like to “pop off” when I would be over it. And all the world saw was my pop off. I glamorized those people and promoted the good side so that the world wouldn’t know but not only that but so I could sleep at night and then I would blow the whistle. Now I was a liar, no longer a credible source right? THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING!! Its part of how the cycle works.

Being reflective I have to stop judging others. If I don’t, I will continue the cycle of abuse and I want OFF this rollercoaster. It wasn’t ok when I was abused and I can’t be a part when it’s others. Thank you Krystal for helping me shift my perspective. I see this situation a lot more clearly now and I know that you have to give the world what you expect from the world because whatever you give will come back.

Today, from a place of wisdom I choose to cover the victim, stand with the victim and support the victim. Abusive people will never be stopped until we change how we treat the abused. Let’s stop telling them not to make noise if they react in a way that may be considered childish or tacky, fighting for your life isn’t something that can be done tastefully at all times. Sometimes its whistle blowing, calling the police, causing a scene or making a “messy” FaceBook post nevertheless its their method of trying to stop their pain.

No more judging from me, I will seek to understand moving forward.

Whew…. Growth Baby!!!