The rap duo Oshun has a track that’s one of my staples titled “Me”. Its talking about focusing on you and remaining centered. The intro states: “Trust you purpose, your path and always do the math” and I did/do just that!

A few months ago I experienced a horrible breakup. What’s crazy is it happened the same week my divorce was being finalized (i guess it was just time to be free!) and the breakup hurt me more.

Yall i had FINALLY reconnected and was moving forward with ” the one that got away”. We found each other again March 2020, right after i had left my wasband. He knew that i was fresh out and tender, so he handled me so gently. It was everything i needed right then.

Our love was to survive being long distance, i got up and left the state in August of 2020. I was gone until July of 2021 when we talked about me coming home. June 2022 we moved in together. Yall i have PTSD with marriage and cohabitation so we had a perfect set up, a two flat. He had his place, I had mine and we still were together. Beautiful right?

NOPE!

He moved out August of 2022 because i trusted my purpose and my path and did some math.

July 15 full moon, i blessed and spiritually sealed my new home. Yall my way of spirituality is different. I follow my own path, no one specific religion is followed i glean from them all. one of the things i’ve mastered is how to protect me. Some things had went down that didn’t line up with who i thought he was and definitely didn’t line up with my purpose. I couldn’t champion self love and healing and go back to toxic love. I was hoping the red flags weren’t pointing to what i thought they were so i figured it was just bad energy stuck.

i had only did a light clearing before we moved in but maybe it was something dark in here. I mean before it was rehabbed this house was vacant and abandoned for years.

I swept my floors with cinnamon broom to get that bad juju out! Windows were open, it was raining too so i had put rain water in the mix. I had on all white and went outside and danced in the rain and i sealed my door with white salt. my intention as i do it is for people to keep their bullshit on the other side of my door. Its one of the first “witchy” things ive learned to do and i know it works. One time i sealed and a buddy of ours i thought was sus never came back in our house again after i sealed until he came by to offer condolences.

Doing the math, i noticed after that day my “man” never stepped foot in my apartment again! For the rest of the time he stayed he would say come up, bring my plate up, we can chill up here. We stopped even going in our shared space its like he was trapped in his unit. Yall the math said all this adding up to him not having the right intentions.

i told him to leave.

It HURT like hell to make that decision then. This week i’ve gotten wind of some things that confirmed every red flag i saw.

My purpose is healing, myself and others. TOXIC dont align with that at all.

My path of African spirituality works for me. it guides and protects me and helps me stay grounded. I trust my path.

When i did the math i realized that he was subtracted when i sealed. It was alarming but i trusted my gut and wrote out that 30 day notice.

Just like the song “Me” says Self love is all I need, to find my inner peace and ill see the pain decrease when i focus on me.

I’m focused.