I choose.

That’s a complete sentence, thought, and boundary. Some people are so used to being able to cross, manipulate or guilt us in to changing our minds and to take your right to choose away. I’ve had the privilege to encounter these folk a time or two…THOUSAND! It’s like I’m a magnet for them.

People love testing my boundaries.

But honestly I get why. I’m sweet and loving. My heart is pure. I’m just breaking up with the people pleasing version of me.

I held a thought process that I had to earn goodness out of people and now realize it’s only because I was programmed to be that way, all for the benefit of others. I never mattered to those that want to take my right to choose away. The only thing they desired was control.

I choose to maintain sovereignty over my own life. E.V.E. taught be a valuable lesson in two bars in the song Satisfaction. She said:

“Sometimes I feel bad, most of the time I don’t
‘Cuz if I don’t protect my $#!+, other ni—s won’t”! Because it really doesn’t matter to them what you need when they are selfish.

The same love that should have brought dude to Toni’s house last night is the same love that makes you say no. It’s the same love that grabs pizza alone even if others insist on ribs knowing you don’t eat pork. It’s the same love that says no to risking your mental health to save someone from their own mental illness. It’s the same love that lends out money to a friend that had something come up and the same love that says no to the loan to the person that ALWAYS got something “unexpected” on a reoccurring basis. The same love that never allows you to abandon yourself.

I’m self centered, the main character in my life’s movie, not selfish. I’m considerate of others and focus on the greatest good while keeping me centered. Oh I’m not saying fluff or even being nice, sometimes the greatest good is an eff you. It’s standing ten toes down on your convictions, beliefs and boundaries too. It’s considering the impact of your actions beyond just yourself.

You know what it doesn’t include? Abandoning yourself for the comfort of others because how could that be the greatest good for all when you’re not even considered?

Seriously! how sway?

This isn’t even rocket science but people insist on making you a martyr for their own causes.

I think not. Matter of fact I CHOOSE not.

I’ll be damned, literally, if I ever move in a fashion where I neglect me. On a plane we put our own oxygen mask on first, even Christ said love others AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF.

That love would never takeaway your choice, or manipulate or guilt you into abandoning you. That’s not love. It’s predatory. It’s abuse, emotional abuse, and we have the right to not allow it to be.

We get to say no. We get to say how. We get to say when. We get to choose for ourselves. Even in an intervention the goal isn’t to make the choice for someone it’s to help them make better choices for themselves!

So choose.

Choose your when, where, how, who and why.

And know your why. It will help you stand firm on your boundaries. On your convictions. On your choices.

Maintain your sovereignty. It’s imperative. For the greatest good.

Ms Raqi-The Healing Heart signing off.

Love you, mean it😘